Published 2022-09-21
BE SOFT! Manifesto, 2011
By UBERMORGEN
SOFT SHOCK
HOW ABOUT A NICE BIG CUP OF SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Beach Soft. Water Hard. Oil well, Water not so well. How many Soft must Murray walk down before he can call himself an artist. Wear a Helmet and sing! The answer is Soft in the wind. Ice Melt. Buy PET-‐Bottles made out of oil, filled with pure water. At a gas station near Stavanger in Death Metal infested Norway. They are selling Gasoline, Diesel and Motoroil, Snickers, Iron Maiden CDs and Hamburgers. Now Future Soft Collection.
SOFTRIDER!
ONE WAY TO SOFT ALL YOU NEED IS SOFT
SOFT AND YOU'LL SMILE
HISTERIC GLAMOUR. SOFT IS SERIOUS DOTOILDOTWORLD. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR SOFT
HARD MAY HAVE THE AUTHORITY, BUT SOFT HAS ONE HELL OF A HANGOVER. THE SOFT FAMILY.
THE EASIEST WAY TO SAY I LOVE YOU IS SOFT.
YOU CAN'T K.O. SOFT.
HARD KICKS ASS -‐ SOFT ROCKS.
WE ARE SOFT. MY NIPPLES ARE NOT. GET YOUR SOFT.
YOU CAN'T K.O. SOFT.
SOFT CUTS LIKE A KNIFE.
RUST -‐ Radical Urban Soft Trainingcamp. To get a tray w/24 beers you need to go to the Duty Free shop at the airport. The struggle between
the Soft and the Hard. Murray and Andy. Sing Hard. Party Soft. Soft Spin. For Sale, curated in space with economic downturn creating excess space! Find spaces, occupy them, party soft, create, express yourself, work Hard. Play Soft.
THE SOFT -‐ A MUSICAL TO BELIEVE IN GLOBAL SOFTNESS READY.
LIVE SOFT.
THE SOFT WEAR COMPANY.
SOFT BALL.
Soft is the new Hard. Bio-‐Piracy -‐ Urban Bees -‐ Dumpster-‐Diving. DIY Soft, Buy Hard. Hybrid vs Single-‐Channel.
Vegetarian Laboratory.
Softlab. Hardcorp.
IF YOU'RE COMING, YOU START THE BIKE AND IT IS JUST HUMMING.
Centralized Command and Control Is Hard. Self aggregated ressources. Global mutual coordination is Soft.
FREE SOFT WARE.
For-‐Profit is Hard. For-‐Benefit is Soft.
BE SOFT
SOFT IS UNDERSTANDING THE WORLD IN ITS FULL DETAILS. SOFT IS RUNNING AROUND NAKED IN THE WINTER. BEING SOFT MEANS GETTING RID OFF OLD HABITS.
SOFT AIN'T HARD.
WE'RE JUST ASKING YOU TO QUIT SCHOOL AND PURSUE YOUR DREAMS.
PUMPING SOFT. SOFT ENTERPRISES?
RIDE TILL YOU ARE SOFT (MASSAGE)
LEAN BACK AND SOFT
AUF WIEDERSEHEN, LONG LIFE SOFT.
SOFT HAS NO COLOR.
BE UNIQUE -‐ BE SOFT.
THE SOFTEST WAY TO MAKE AN EASY LIVING. SOFT WITH DIESEL POWER.
BIO SOFT.
IF YOU COME, START ALONG AND THEN HUM. SOFT: HUMAN AFTER ALL. ONLY THE SOFT. FOR SOFT LIVING.
UNLEASH THE SOFT. SOFT -‐ DEEP WITHIN YOU. I SPY WITH SOFT EYE.
ALL SYSTEMS SOFT.
DON'T ASK HARD, DON'T TELL SOFT.
THE SOFTER THE CAKE, THE HARDER THE JELLY. ROLLING SOFT.
I'M STILL SOFT.
SOFT STATE OF MIND.
THE BEST AND WORST OF SOFT. SUPER SOFT.
INSIDE SOFT.
The Softer they come. the softer they fall.
SOFT IS A FOUR LETTER WORD:
BRATWURST IS HARD,
SAUERKRAUT IS SOFT.
SOFT 3D.
The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows." SOFTTHROATING.
I'D RATHER BE STROKED THAN RAMMED.
According to the annual report on estimated accidents in the home, from Britain's Department of Trade and Industry and detailed in a June issue of New Scientist, three dozen people were sent to the hospital for injuries associated with teapot covers; about 165 for injuries from placemats, about 330 from toilet-‐ paper holders, and about 13,000 from vegetables. However, sponge-‐related accidents fell from 996 the previous year to 787, and only 329 injuries from meat cleavers were reported. These ones are not as Useless. Everything you always wanted to know about humans, but were afraid to ask... Seventy percent of the dust in your home consists of shed human skin and hair...
MAKING FUN OF THINGS IS HARD WORK, BUT MAKING THINGS IS SOFT.
DOES THAT MEAN SOFT IS GOD? NOW YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST. SOFT EQUAL SEX. THE OPPOSITE OF SEX IS TO HAVE NO IDEA.
PRAY FOR SOFT.
SOFT IS NIGH. SOFT IS NEAR.
WANNE MAKE OUT? ARE YOU A GIRL? WHO TOLD YOU THAT I LIKE TO BE SOFT?! DON'T MESS WITH SOFT.
GOT SOFT? TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME.
DIRTY SOFT.
One human hair can support 3 kg. The average human scalp has 100,000 hairs. Each square centimetre of human skin on the hand contains about 100 cm of blood vessels and 300 cm of nerve tissue. The tooth is the only part of the human body that can't repair itself. Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell. One human brain generates more electrical impulses in a single day than all of the world's telephones. The average human being will walk 160 billion millimetres in a lifetime. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. Most tropical marine fish could survive in a tank of human blood. SOFTCORE!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T OWN ONE OF THESE?
It takes the interaction of 72 different muscles to produce human speech.
If you gave every human on earth an equal portion of dry land (including uninhabitable areas), everyone would get a plot of land roughly 3 metres by 3 metres.
IT STARTED WITH THE SOFT. SOFT SHOCK.
WITH OR WITHOUT?
SOFT IS BETTER THAN NOTHING.
SOFT WON'T BITE.
SOFT IS A FACT OF LIFE. SOFT DOES MATTER. BELIEVE SOFT.
SOFT AND OBEY.
SOFT -‐ LOVE IT WHILE IT LASTS.
Humans are the only animals that cry tears and blush.
The grain and soybeans fed to U.S. livestock could feed 1,300,000,000 humans.
JUST SOFT. CLICKIT OR TICKIT
SOFT FACE.
ARE YOU A MUSIC OR A FASHION FREAK? THEN SOFT IS FOR YOU. THE SELF-‐PROCLAIMED ARTIST IS SOFT. THE AUDIENCE HAS A BAD TASTE.
SOMEBODY'S GOT THEIR CRANKY-‐PANTS TOO TIGHT TODAY.
If all the molecules of DNA in a single human cell were laid out end to end, they would stretch 2 metres. This DNA is packed into a nucleus 10 millionths of a metre across.
Frowning uses more muscles in the face than smiling does.
SURVIVAL OF THE SOFTEST!
33% OF ALL AMERICANS FLUSH THE TOILET WHILE THEY ARE ON IT. ABOUT 36 MILLION PHONE CALLS ARE PLACED EACH DAY IN NEW YORK. 85,000,000 TONS OF PAPER ARE USED EACH YEAR IN THE US. 888,000 CREDIT CARDS IN CIRCULATION WILL TURN OUT TO HAVE INCORRECT CARDHOLDER INFORMATION ON THEIR MAGNETIC STRIPS. A FEMALE FERRET WILL DIE IF IT GOES INTO HEAT AND CANNOT FIND A MATE. A TYPICAL DOUBLE-‐BED MATTRESS CONTAINS AS MANY AS 2 MILLION HOUSE DUST MITES
(DEMODEX FOLLICULOROM)
SOFT AFTER ALL!
BE SOFT!
PS: Dotoildot pays respect to the dark underground, to the thousands of pure diamonds drilling deep into our mother earth's womb to spill the black blood of organic life populating our planet millions of years ago.
A new age of energy will rise from the ashes. The dawn of a new era. The heavy metal beat of great times passed. Chinese single children will drink oil like vampires drink the blood of their creators. Make Each Drop Count!
While every global brand except DOTOILDOT.COM is espousing the 'it's all about you, have some fun, we're all important, it's about humans being individuals' karmic snake oil, Dotoildot is telling you to look at history, look at bigger patterns, realize that technology and 'good intentions' are not going to save the day.
We are insignificant, it says. What matters is not that we are alive, but what we do with our time. Like balloons, we are filled with hopes and dreams. But over time a single sentence creeps into our lives. Be Hard.
It’s the crusher of possibility. It’s the worlds greatest deflator. The world is full of hard people. Doing all kind of hard things. Thats hard. Well, we’re with soft. Soft is the relentless pursuit of a regret free life. Hard may have the brain, but soft has the balls. The hard might recognize things for how they are.
The soft see things for how they could be. Hard critiques. Soft creates. It is illegal to kill people for being soft. I am bold, i am different. He is different, he is a freak. Just say no to being hard. Yes we can - be soft.
The fact is if we didn't have soft thoughts we would have no interesting thoughts at all. Hard may have the plans but soft has the stories. Hard may have the authority but soft has one hell of a hangover.
It's not hard to take risks, it's soft. To be soft is to be brave. The Soft is not afraid to fail. The Soft knows there are worse things than failure, like not even trying. Hard had one good idea, and that idea was soft. You can’t outhard soft. So don’t even try. Remember only soft can be truly brilliant.
So, BE SOFT!