Penetrate The Retina

Until now, I have without hesitation given titles in English and written descriptions in English when exhibiting NFTs. However, they were not written in English. They were thought up in Japanese, which I use regularly, and then converted into English using a translation tool. I have continued to ignore what might have been removed in the translation process without thinking about it.

In fact, through this work, I do not want to challenge the tendency for the fact that the world is English. I just wanted to clarify why I was putting out a work in Japanese on a platform that is not likely to have many Japanese people on it. I don't want to be reduced. I who inhabit this work never want to be sanded down and smoothed.

These days I am confused. I have lost the social attributes that guarantee my identity, and I suffer from a troublesome disability and associated mental illness. By the way, let me tell you about an illness I developed last autumn. It is a conversion disorder. The symptoms of this illness vary from person to person, but to my surprise, my body stops working! It is a mental illness, yet I experienced days of being bedridden, unable to walk, and struggling to hold anything. Recently I have been blessed with a good doctor and medication and am recovering quite well, but it is not completely gone. But I am still able to type and create! It's wonderful.

Whether I wanted to or not, my life was not going well. On top of that, the world was a mess. I wanted to fight, to raise my voice, but obstacles prevented me from doing so. I was frustrated and angry at my powerlessness. Before that, I was unemployed, the country was tough on the mentally disabled and I didn't know how to live.

I had to make NFT, otherwise I wouldn't be able to earn money. But I didn't know how to organize my confusion as a work of art, so I spent my days in agony.

If the confusion is who I am, I don't have to go to the trouble of cutting it down. It was this kind of resignation that led me here.

The words that appear in the work are taken from my diary over several months, posts on social networking sites, and things from my life.

I am no longer there. I am back to where I am now.

If you have any questions or comments, please do not hesitate to contact me at X @shirasu_nejio.